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letting go

Posted on Nov 22nd, 2006 by Hey_Jude : Growing Toward the Light Hey_Jude
I think I've finally awakened from a long long sleep and I'm letting go of the dream.  The dream of a forever marriage and partnership with a soul I've been connected with for 37 years.  We loved and grew together, made and raised beautiful babies, said we'd always stick together, no matter what.  The pain of release is agonizing, the pain of holding on damaging and I'm working hard to realize my perfect wholeness in Spirit.

************************************************************************************************

I think that Bill's motivation in his mind was to be kind to me (by releasing me) as he knew his personal hell, guilt, and journey did not have a space fo me and knew it would be a long journey till he found his way through it.  In that it was all about him, he was also being kind to himself. 

Yes-the best way to show others the way is through a life well lived--I do not want revenge.  I have struggled to understand this event and am deciding I don't really need to .  I need to stay in the flow.  Develop myself--uncover, rediscover, refine the diamond inside.

Don't get me wrong--I struggle often with sad feelings about this loss, but am aslo working hard to feel what I know is true--that ife is good--and it's only what we make it--I think --writhing a new chapter in a book is exciting and scary at the same time--but the struggle is worth it.

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Gratitude

Posted on Nov 23rd, 2006 by Hey_Jude : Growing Toward the Light Hey_Jude
On this Thanksgiving day, I could go either way--feel sorry for myself and all that's past in the last year or two--both parents passed on-husband of 30 years left--or be grateful for the trials that have led me to where I am.  I choose the latter.  I honor my mother's teachings to always be grateful no matter what and that each rock we trip over in life is a stepping stone to Truth if we let it be. 

Here's hoping each and eveyone of you that read this look around and realise that life is a gift and we can be part of that gift by giving also.  Silent gratitude doesn't serve nearly as well as gratitude spoken aloud. I'm grateful for the opportunity to post here and share with a community of caring souls.
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I am

Posted on Nov 23rd, 2006 by Hey_Jude : Growing Toward the Light Hey_Jude
We are whole, perfect, and complete now--Uncovering this though can seem like climbing a never ending mountain.  Stop a moment, look around and enjoy what you are in the now, and what you are looking for will continue to unfold.  Be well-in love-Lotusflower
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Wisdom extracted :-)

Posted on Nov 24th, 2006 by Hey_Jude : Growing Toward the Light Hey_Jude

Had a great day getting my wisdom teeth extracted.  A wonderful friend took me - a fantastic staff took care of me- I felt nothing-and remember nothing-

My friend Debbie got me milkshakes and smoothies then offered to set up my Christmas tree with Justin, who'd come over.  I've never put it up this early, but couldn't turn down help.  I'm determined not to let the event of last Christmas Eve taint my future holidays.  This was such a lovely day.  Yesterday was also great with all the kids - no bickering-everyone pitched in--I am blessed!

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Love is reflected in Love

Posted on Nov 24th, 2006 by Hey_Jude : Growing Toward the Light Hey_Jude
Letting Love flow freely through me and to others no matter what the human circumstance is wonderful and what blesses one-blesses all.

Even when it doesn't feel great at the moment or it takes a great deal of unselfish effort, the reward of knowing we've blessed another being who may at that very moment need to feel unconditional, Divine Love envelope their being aligns us with our source and warms our essence
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Death becomes her

Posted on Nov 24th, 2006 by Hey_Jude : Growing Toward the Light Hey_Jude
Dads83_20003
Death is truely an intimate affair.  My mother passed a year ago from breast cancer and lived her life up to the end her way, with Divine connection and reflection--She was so ready for her next phase.
I was not with her but had spent wonderful quality time with her shortly before. She recieved hospice at home for 3 months from wonderful people. She touched so many peoples' lives and always with grace and love.
 

Ever Present

 

Truthful, loving, patient nurturer

My mother lived her convictions

Ever spiritual reflection of God.

 

Curious teacher, ever learning

Always asking questions, inquisitive

Sharing her newfound knowledge.

 

Watering, pruning, lovingly tending

Shrimp plants to orchids

A green thumb gardener

 

Through sickness & in health

In good times & in bad

Till death do us part

Never gone.

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Smilin' Jack

Posted on Nov 24th, 2006 by Hey_Jude : Growing Toward the Light Hey_Jude
Dads83_20002
 

You never were my unloved dad
Pam Chance

 

Hey Dad, we haven't talked in a while,



Not since before I arrived too late



and heard how you'd slipped away



just as I came to your door.



What would I have said then?



Even when you were there,



on the brink and frightened,



I could barely shape a word of love.



I never found any way to say how



I wanted us to be in the forever



sunshine of our beginning years.



Instead I became the deadening



leadening unfathomable grey.



The breaking storm of your



ever darkening disappointment.



The puzzlement of broken dreams.



And Dad, it hurt me too



that you never seemed to grasp



how hard I tried to please.



Instead you saw only



poor grades and more,



and there was plenty



for you to find to say-



except what I needed, craved to hear!



Tender and nurturing words



would have picked me up



made me brave



and bright and strong again!



It is surprising, but no accident,



that in a decade of



prayer-filled questions



I have come to know you better



and to love you more than



when we were both



hell-bent on watching,



waiting, and sparring-



each unable to even brush fingers



to help the other make a fist of life.



Hey Dad, I want you to know



that our struggles are over now!



I only mentioned them



as part of the terrain,

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The Traveler

Posted on Nov 24th, 2006 by Hey_Jude : Growing Toward the Light Hey_Jude
 

The Traveler
By James Dillet Freeman

He has put on invisibility.
Dear Lord, I cannot see-
But this I know, although the road
     ascends
And passes from my sight,
That there will be no night;
That You will take him gently by the
     hand
And lead him on
Along the road of life that never ends,
And he will find it is not death but
     dawn.
I do not doubt that You are there as
     here,
And You will hold him dear.

Our life did not begin with birth,
It is not of the earth;
And this that we call death, it is no
     more
Than the opening and closing of a
     door-
And in Your house how many rooms
     must be
Beyond this one where we rest
     momently.

Dear Lord, I thank You for the faith
     that frees,
The love that knows it cannot lose its
     own;
The love that, looking through the
     shadows, sees
That You and he and I are ever one!



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transient dweller--eternal spirit

Posted on Nov 24th, 2006 by Hey_Jude : Growing Toward the Light Hey_Jude
Orchid12-05
 

 

For all Those Who Have Lost a Loved One

by Rev. Paulson  from a Unity Church

 

They know me not who think that I am only flesh and bones-

A transient dweller on this fragile earth that gave me form.

For I am Spirit, Eternal, indestructible not confident in matter.

And when my sojourn here is through,

My roles fullfilled, my assignments done,

I lay aside this expression called my body and move on

To other mansions, roles, assignments, in our Father's home

of eternal life.

So dry your tears

Weep not overmuch for me..., Or for yourself.

Set me free in the Love that holds us all and makes us live eternally.

Our paths will cross again,

Our minds and hearts will touch,

Our souls will shout with joy and laughter as we rejoice

in the lives we lived, the worlds we've seen, the path we trod

to find ourselves, at last, in God.


My spoken words about Mom after reading the poem at her funeral


Despite the sadness that we often associate with this occasion, we can remember the qualities that Mom expressed humanly: joy, love, vitality, intelligence--they were manifestations of her true identity as a spiritual idea.  These qualities can never die.  They're eternal because they from from God.  A spiritual idea cannot die, so we need to keep going forward in our growth just as she is on some other level.

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Groundless--Growth

Posted on Nov 25th, 2006 by Hey_Jude : Growing Toward the Light Hey_Jude
Being groundless is such fertile soil for growth and forward motion.

For me "being groundless" means in the last year losing both parents to their passing on and having my husband leave our marriage of 30 years.  All the ground I thought I knew had slipped out from under my feet.  Till I began rediscovering me.
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